Thursday, June 16, 2005

Divorce: How To Survive A Divorce And Move On With Your Life

One out of every two marriages in America is failing and
may end in a divorce.

American families are crumbling and vanishing.

Most families have become dysfunctional, and it is widely
becoming fashionable to come from a dysfunctional
family.

Divorce is on the rise all the time.

Your self-esteem - what you think of yourself in relation to
other people - is the basic secret of your success or failure in
life.

Here are some marital insights to help you survive a divorce
and live the rest of your life happily.

It's really as simple as that... think well of yourself, and
you'll do well.

Think disparagingly of yourself, and you'll probably not do
very well at all .

It is natural to have a low self-esteem after going through a
divorce.

In fact, the blow dealt to one's self-esteem by divorce is
lethal and crushing enough to drive anyone to the brink
of insanity.

There may be very justifiable reasons to end a marriage
and get a divorce.

The way I see it, it should be preferable to end a problematic
marriage and get a divorce than to stay and keep suffering,
being abused and endangering one’s life.

This is common sense.

It makes a great sense to end the marriage , seek a
divorce and find a much better partner in life.

Nobody is above making a mistake.

But when you make a mistake in the choice of your life
partner, be reasonable to realize it, end the marriage,
get a divorce and the find another partner and continue with
your life.

There are billions of human beings on earth, and one should
be able to find a compatible partner to continue one’s life.

When a marriage ends in divorce, one should have a good
attitude about it.

But this is not always easy for most spouses.

They tend to continue to remain attached to their ex-partners.

They continue to agonize over the break-up and blame
each other for the failure of the marriage and the divorce.

They are filled with anger, self-loathing, regrets, anxiety and
frustration due to the failed marriage and divorce.

They continue to let the memories about the failed marriage
And divorce linger on.

After a divorce, the correct attitude will be to consider the
marriage dead and let go of all feelings regarding it and move
on with ones’s life.

It may take sometime for you to go through the necessary healing
that has to take place after a divorce before you are able to
recognize and enjoy happiness again.

Even so, the most important and the very first thing you must do
following the break-up of any kind of relationship, and a divorce
is to get started on the rebuilding of your self-esteem.

This means that you have to accept the fact that neither you or
anyone else is perfect - determine that you will learn from your
mistakes - and that you will become whatever it is you aspire to
be.

Immediately, do something that makes you feel good - something
you've been wanted to do for some time - or always wanted to
do.

This could be getting a new hair-do, buying a new suit,
enrolling in a special self-improvement course, starting a
new job or business, or even taking an extended vacation.

You may also relocate and move to another city.

This is one way of leaving all memories of the failed
marriage and divorce behind.

You must not lock yourself in your house or apartment and
keep brooding over the failed marriage and divorce.

You must not be afraid to get out and associate with people.

You must not stop enjoying life!

You may have to force yourself, but you must "forget" about
mourning your loss and continue with your life.

You must go on with your life with a stronger determination
than ever, to be the person you want to be.

Don't "beat yourself over the head" with feelings of guilt
about the divorce.

Get rid of your anger about the divorce as quickly as possible.

Forget about the past. Focus on the present and the future.

Get on with the rest of your life without delay!

Revitalize those ambitions that have been "hidden away" in the
back of your mind, and consider this particular time in your
life as an opportunity for a new start.

Do some introspection relative to what it is you want out of life;
reorganize your time and efforts to attain those objectives; and
go for it with all you've got!

The way you feel about yourself has a strong reflection on the
way you feel about others.

When things are not quite right, the first thing that
needs to be changed is your disposition - your attitude,
feelings towards other people, and your emotional responses.

Think about your facial expressions and the tone of your voice
when you're talking with other people.

Being aware of these things with consideration towards other
people, will "bring you out of your-self" and allow other people
to want to know more about you.

You have to forget about and let go of, the divorce and your past.

Anything and everything that happened yesterday is long gone
and cannot be changed.

You have the rest of your life from this moment on, to
achieve love - happiness - fame and fortune.

Whatever it is you want in life can be yours.

All that's necessary to make any dream come true is a true
understanding of what you want, and determination on your
part to make it all happen according to your plan.

Think about what you want -prepare yourself to get it –
focus your efforts on the fulfillment of your ambitions –
and there's nothing that can stop you from total realization!

If you’re a man, after divorce, desist from condemning
all the women as devils.

Just because your marriage didn’t work out with one woman
doesn’t mean that all women are evil.

If you’re a woman, after your divorce, don’t conclude that
all men are evil.

Just because your marriage didn’t work out with one man
doesn’t mean that all men are evil.

It is also not a good reason to become a lesbian!

There are billions of men in the world.

If it doesn’t work with one man, it may work with another,
so go for it.

And if you have children from the marriage, desist from poisoning
their minds with hate for their father or mother.

So, the first thing relative to rebuilding one's self-esteem -
following a divorce, or the loss of a loved one by any
circumstances - is to understand why you hurt, and what is
necessary in order to be happy again.

It is essential that you think of YOURSELF in terms of the kind
of life you want for yourself; know that you can have it all
because you've laid the foundation, done your homework,
and you're on a positive road towards achievement; and then
get busy "making tracks" in that direction.

In simple terms - it hurts, but you're not dead - you're only
wasting time thinking about or rehashing the past because
there's no way anything that happened yesterday or the day
before can be changed - so quickly pick up the pieces, and get
on with your life!

May these insights about life after divorce help you to find a
new meaning in life and to move on and prosper and be
happy for the rest of your life.

Please feel free to print or publish this article anywhere and
read and also send to your friends and well wishers and please
preserve the resource box below.

Warmly,

I-key Benney, CEO


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